To Move Or Not To Move?

September 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm , by

Aah, men. We love them, we hate them, we use them as pillows and punching bags (not literally, of course) and psychologists all in one. And no matter how baffling their behavior, we always try to figure them out! Analyzing what he meant when he said this and how he looked when he did that can provide hours upon hours of entertainment, can’t it? I’m Jen, your neighborhood relationships blogger. I’ve been in a serious relationship for a few years, and though I’ve promised my wonderful, loving, understanding boyfriend I won’t share too much (hi, honey!), I have to dish at least a little! I’ll also have some guest bloggers that are blissfully wed to get a little married-lady perspective.

imageCurrently on my mind is a rather weighty topic. (Is it too soon to get serious? I hardly know you!) Right now, I live by myself, and my partner lives by himself, and we’ve been thinking about merging the selves under one roof. The discussion started for various reasons, but it mostly came up because we’re ready to really commit. Of course, there are tons of pros (and cons) we’ve been weighing endlessly cheaper rent, more enjoyable grocery-shopping trips and dinners eaten together versus less privacy, more-cramped quarters and having to share a bathroom–but I’m glad we’re really thinking it through before we take the jump.

The scary part for me is that the research on cohabiting, as it’s called, is a little conflicting. Some studies show that unmarried couples who live together have less successful relationships, but more recent research may show that’s false. Of course, times are a changin’, and when you live in New York and can scarcely afford to rent space in a shoebox without going broke, cohabiting is an appealing option. And now that it’s more culturally accepted (even my grandma thought it’d be a good idea!), maybe the older rules don’t apply.

What I have to know is, have you ever lived with a partner before? Did you live with your spouse before you were married? If you did, how did it work out, and would you do it again?

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One Response to “To Move Or Not To Move?”

  1. My husband and I lived together before we got engaged and I’m a big advocate of it. Yes, it might not have worked out but wouldn’t you rather find that out when you’re only sharing a cable bill and a couple pots rather than when you’re sharing everything as husband and wife?? I wouldn’t take it lightly – he’s the only guy I ever lived with – but I think if you’re really committed then it’s a good idea. Sure, you LOVE him but can you LIVE with him??