How to Be Overwhelmed By Stress (and Start Hitting, Kicking and Spitting)
November 5, 2009 at 12:07 pm, by Louise Sloan
My three-year-old son was Curious George for Halloween, but the Tasmanian Devil may have been more apropos. His intense, highly regimented preschool has been stressing him out, and my normally boisterous but sweet kid has been lashing out—targeting his classmates and even his teacher. Yikes!
Stress is inevitable, for all of us, whatever our age, especially in times of transition. The key is in how you cope with it, right? My son’s preschool has been an instructive example of How To Totally Lose It. There’s a long list of factors contributing to his freakout, and I may be pulling him out of the school, but let’s focus in on a few things he’s been dealing with that can turn the best of us into a whirling bundle of negative energy. In honor of my favorite cartoon devil, I’m calling them The Taz Factors. Try them at home, if you’re having a particularly challenging month! I promise you’ll be worse off.
TAZ FACTOR #1: Don’t get enough exercise. When my son’s misbehavior started, I asked the teacher how often the kids get to the gym or the playground. “When the academic schedule allows” was her answer. In other words, not every day. Most experts recommend a minimum of one hour of vigorous activity each day for this age group. But here’s the more significant problem: Exercise is perhaps the number one most effective way to relieve stress! Such as, say, the stress of being dumped into a rigorous 8-hour preschool program after a lifetime of one-on-one attention and free play.
The endorphins that exercise causes your body to release make you feel calmer and happier, according to about a billion studies. Whatever your age, if you’re under stress, you can’t afford to skip exercise—you need to make an extra effort to get to the gym, run around the block, do jumping jacks, whatever!
TAZ FACTOR #2: Skip snacks and meals. To better accommodate the academic activities in this preschool class, the kids don’t have a set snack time. They can ask for their snack if they think of it. My son, being three years old and in a stimulating new environment, apparently never thinks of it. Result: No snack. And a pattern of losing it shortly before lunch. Hmmm. Coincidence?
Let’s review some common symptoms of low blood sugar: You get irritable and less effective in your work (which makes you even more irritable). I’ve been there, haven’t you? On a stressful day I try to power through without food. It always backfires, making me crabby and less productive.
Years ago, my doctor recommended that I have a small, protein-rich meal or snack every 2-3 hours (your body digests protein more slowly, which helps keeps your blood sugar—and your mood—on an even keel). When I follow that plan, I do a lot better.
TAZ FACTOR #3: Skimp on Sleep. Sleeping on a cot in an exciting, brand-new environment surrounded by 10 other kids was apparently not my son’s cup of tea. So he hasn’t been napping, thus subtracting 2 hours from his daily sleep total.
Here’s a summary of the results of a 2005 study on sleep deprivation: “Normal subjects typically show acute worsening of mood, with complaints of irritability, depression, and decreased motivation.” Sounds about right. And as a sleep story we’re working on right now will be telling you (sneak peek alert!), sleep deprivation is cumulative. Even getting an hour less sleep each night will start to build up and affect you in worse and worse ways.
If you are going through a stressful time, you need to get serious about your bedtime and be sure to clock in at least 8 hours. (Last night I went to bed at 9:30—’nuff said!)
THE TAZ PLAN: Use it and lose it! (Do you think I can start marketing it on late-night TV?) There’s plenty of research to back up my plan, but I can also attest to its effectiveness from personal experience. When I follow the Taz plan, I’m more likely to grind my teeth than to hit my boss (I guess there’s something to be said for being older), but I’m sure to be in a foul mood, with a short fuse.
Do you, like me, tend to skimp on exercise, healthy eating and sleep during times of stress, when you most need those things? Do you then turn in to Taz? Or have you learned how to take good care of yourself when times are tough? Tell all!
Categories: Ladies' Lounge | Tags: | 11 Comments
11 Responses to “How to Be Overwhelmed By Stress (and Start Hitting, Kicking and Spitting)”
Written on November 5, 2009 at 12:21 pm, by Jeannie
Yes, yes, and yes. You’d think at my age I’d know better, but alas, I never seem to learn. (And holy cow, that preschool sounds intense!)
Written on November 5, 2009 at 3:20 pm, by Shelly Damm
dump the pre-school. find one that feels better to your son and you.
Written on November 5, 2009 at 3:33 pm, by Anne Mollegen Smith
The ghost of Maria Montessori must be spinning in her grave. Not how she intended her schools to be. In fact, they were started as a refuge for the stressed out, underfed, disrespected children of the tenements of an Italian inner city–a refuge so that the children could learn. Hope you and the school can get this worked out for all concerned, esp. you and your son.
Written on November 6, 2009 at 11:22 pm, by Nora
Amazing how stress immediately short-circuits my ability to manage it better. I second (third?) all comments about the preschool.
Written on November 10, 2009 at 8:15 pm, by Josh
How true! I’m always amazed by the arbitrary distinctions we make between what children experience and what adults experience. This is no different!
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