Want a Husband? Forget About Marrying “Mr. Right”

February 2, 2010 at 6:55 pm , by

41PUwy3R0hL._SL500_AA240_An interesting—and provocative—new book is being published by Dutton this month:  Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. Gottlieb, who is 40-something and single, makes the case that many women have too high expectations when it comes to searching for a partner.  And she should know: Her first chapter lists 70 qualities she’d been hoping to find in a guy, ranging from “financially stable” and “kind” to “over 5’10” but under 6’0” and, of course, “madly in love with me.”  But she then proceeds to argue that women have unrealistic expectations of finding a “perfect” husband and that they’d be better served (in other words, married) if they simply settled for a nice, responsible guy who’s “good enough.”  Gottlieb makes a persuasive argument, but I’m not convinced:  I suspect that any woman who feels as though she’s “settling” will ultimately not be happy in a marriage.  As anyone who has been a wife for a while knows, the men we choose, in fact, don’t turn out to be as perfect as they might have seemed during the courtship and honeymoon phase. But call me a romantic:  I still think it’s smart to wait until you find a guy who seems like Prince Charming…at least for a while.  What do you think?

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