April 28, 2011 at 12:29 pm , by Jennifer Castoro
It’s a Royal Wedding World, and we’re just living in it. Whatever your opinion of the noble nuptials, one thing’s for sure: You’ll know alllll about every detail of this entire blissful day by the time the party’s over. Of course, the spectacle is a bright spot for the royal family, a bit of happy news for a drama-drenched monarchy. The world will see and hear (and scrutinize) all the couple’s choices for their big day, from the music and the food to the guest list and the dress. (And really, I’m not all that invested in the Big Show myself, but I am SUPER curious about the dress!!) Every bride can probably relate to fixating on the tiny details of her wedding day to make it perfect – whatever perfect may mean to her.
But one thing that seems to get lost in the planning of any wedding – royal or common – is that after the whole big shebang is over, the bride and groom will be. . . husband and wife. Yes, they’ll be thrilled if the day is success, but it’s not a great DJ, a top-notch photographer or a kick-butt fillet mignon that makes or breaks a marriage.
We happen to think that, with their years-long courtship, sincere love for each other and general rational-seeming personalities, Wills and Kate will do just fine. But in the spirit of remembering that after the wedding comes the marriage, we’d like to offer the happy couple some of our surprising secrets to a lifelong union, as told by relationship experts of all sorts.
1. Let it go. “After a major transgression, like infidelity, it’s extremely important not to hound the person about it for years. That will slowly poison the marriage. You’ve got to forgive and forget, or get out of the relationship.” — Marianne Legato, MD, professor of clinical medicine at Columbia University in New York City
2. Don’t forget yourself. “You need to maintain appropriate boundaries. Allow each other a sense of individuality and independence. Support each other’s hopes and dreams.” — Stephen Betchen, sex and marital therapist in Cherry Hill, New Jersey
3. Focus on the present. “Don’t fall into the trap of thinking about your partner’s every little quirk and wondering, ‘Can I live with that for the rest of my life?’ Decide that this person is fine for now. That has worked for us for 27 years.” — Ann Leary, wife of actor Denis Leary and author of Outtakes from a Marriage: A Novel
4. Keep secrets – with each other. “The secret of a happy marriage is to only have secrets that, when they’re revealed, will make both people smile.”
– Gary S. Felton, PhD, Los Angeles clinical psychologist
5. Lighten up. “One couple told me that when they were fighting and wanted to stop, they’d stick their tongue out at each other. They’d start to laugh, and that would break the spell. ” — Peter Post, a director of the Emily Post Institute and author of Essential Manners for Couples
What advice would you give to Will and Kate? Do you think they’ll make it?
Photo courtesy of The British Monarchy (if you’re interested in more pictures, go to their Flickr site – there’s a ton!).
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