July 10, 2012 at 3:19 pm , by Ladies' Lounge
On last night’s episode, Emily was down to the final three bachelors. I remember this part of the process being so magical. We were in Maui, a place that most of you know I visit often, so it was a special place to me for many reasons. I actually have a very vivid memory—right before my date with Reid I had the morning to myself. I opened up the windows to my big, beautiful room, turned up the music, sipped my coffee and thought about how lucky I was. But it hadn’t hit me yet that I was about to let go of someone who had become really special to me, so I don’t envy Emily at this stage. You truly do have severe feelings for the final three guys. I can’t speak for all of the bachelorettes, but I’m pretty sure that by the final two you know where your heart is headed, but at three there are still a lot of unanswered questions.
Let’s talk about something that might be a bit controversial: Turning down the fantasy dates. I saw quite a few tweets last night from people saying “Good for Emily!” but to be honest I was really confused. If this were “real” life and we were at the point of saying I love you to someone, sleepovers would be happening. This doesn’t mean I think you need to be doing the horizontal polka ladies; I just mean you have a very limited amount of time with this person. And further more, you have to remember there is no off camera or alone time together at this stage.
So think about it: Emily is trying to figure out who she is going to spend the rest of her life with outside of the TV show, but she’s making a decision based on what all of us viewers will think. Do you know how many people have boldly asked me “How many guys did you sleep with while on the show?” Yes, I went on national television and made certain choices but that information is personal no one else’s business. However, I do think that sexual chemistry is important when trying to decide who you’re going to marry. Let’s face it—it’s human nature, and ignoring it because she’s worried about what the rest of the world will think could very well be the same reason why engagement number two didn’t work out. Maybe she’ll decide to have overnight dates when she’s down to the final two, but let’s forget about the sexual chemistry for now. I think she should have accepted those overnight dates simply to get to know the guys more, but to heck with what we all think!
I still don’t really understand the Sean attraction. She keeps saying that he’s the perfect man, but I don’t see that fire in their eyes. I thought it was funny that Emily brought up the fact that Sean was buddy-buddy with a lot of his ex-girlfriends. It kind of reminds me of a certain ex-boyfriend of mine, which is totally okay, but for me that fire, passion and attraction has to be there for a relationship to last a lifetime. Their conversation seemed really forced and awkward and it didn’t feel like they were anywhere close to being engaged, so I guess it makes sense that he was sent home. Regardless, it’s so tough to go home at this point. Do you guys remember my goodbye with Jason? I remember my heart being so broken that I didn’t think I was going to wake up the next day. Unless you’ve been on this journey you can’t understand how quickly you become invested in someone. You’re learning everything about a person, the relationship advances quickly, and the whole time you’re thinking that this person is for you, but you really don’t know. It’s devastating when you get let go at the very end. I feel for him.
There is something so magical about Jef and Emily. It’s not like with Arie, where you can tell that they want to rip each other’s clothes off. It’s more unspoken, heart to heart. You feel like Jef will really take care of Emily and she’s so herself with him—she has no problems being goofy and answering his questions. Speaking of which, I love that he probes her and digs deeper when she says something. I don’t know if you guys have noticed but usually when there’s a serious conversation on this show, you just get a lot of smiling and nodding. That’s simply because there is so much going on around you, and in your head and your heart, that you aren’t really thinking straight. I remember going on the show and everyone telling me “Oh, Jill you will be fine if you just be yourself,” but then you jump on the crazy train and realize that you’ve never been in a situation like that before and you have no real frame of reference so it’s harder than you think to just to “be yourself.” When I notice those small details, like a genuine conversation, I know that something very powerful is happening.
Speaking of powerful, Emily and Arie totally had the sexual chemistry going on—they were 50 Shades of Grey all over each other! That chemistry is hard to find after having your heart broken so many times; I know from experience. So when you find it again, it’s important to really embrace it but also probe a bit deeper. I do think they have a genuine emotional connection as well, and I love how they discussed Arie’s relationship with Ricki. I liked his approach and thought it was very cool and mature of him, and more than I would have expected!
I have no idea who Emily is going to choose next week and I don’t follow spoilers. Part of me says pick Arie, pick Arie! They have a connection that will carry them through the six months of hard times in the media after the show, which is so difficult to get through. But what about after that? I think Jef has what it takes to make it with Emily to her rocking years. Who do you think Emily will pick?
Until next time,
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