5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong

August 13, 2012 at 11:53 am , by

We’ll admit it–we’re all guilty of a little marital neglect from time to time. With the day-to-day stresses of life and family (kids, bills, health, work!) sometimes giving your marriage the TLC it needs to stay healthy falls to the bottom of the list. But it doesn’t have to. Here are 5 easy ways to keep your marriage strong from Dr. Susan Heitler, the relationship expert behind the cool online marriage counseling tool Power of Two.

1.  Increase the sunshine. Count the number of positive vibes you give your spouse each day.  How often do you smile, caress, enjoy, agree with, and joke with your partner?  That sunshine factor makes a huge difference in the overall quality of a relationship.

2.  Switch complaints to requests.  Complaints are negative and backwards-looking.  Requests look ahead. Begin with safe sentence-starters like “My concern is…,” “I would like to…,”  and “How would you feel about …?” While you’re at it, aim to eliminate critical comments, especially when they’re delivered in that irritated tone of voice. That’s not going to get you anywhere.

3. Don’t compromise. We know, it sounds shocking to ‘diss the good old compromise, but there’s an even better way: Resolve your differences with win-win solutions.  Make a list of issues over which you sometimes argue. Pick a quiet time for a meeting and issue-by-issue, share the details of your concerns and then create solutions that actually feel win-win for both of you.

4. Play together. Create ample time for each other. Cordon off at least some one-on-one time for hanging out together without children present every day, with larger chunks on the weekends. It’s hard but it can be done if you get into a routine and stick to it.

5. Aim for zero fighting.  Agree that any time that either of you feels the beginning rumbles of a potential anger outburst, you will exit the room, calm yourselves, return, and then talk together pleasantly for a few minutes about a safe topic before you take a second try at discussing the hot topic.

We love that Dr. Heitler says “marriage is for grown-ups.” (That is, couples who cherish each other, who treat each other with respect, and who talk over their differences collaboratively.) So true! If your skills in these areas need a little work, check out our partnership with online counseling tool Power of Two — you’ll get three free days to give it a try.

6 Responses to “5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Strong”

  1. I can consult you on this question. Together we can come to a right answer.

    P.S. Please review our icons site.

  2. I congratulate, your opinion is useful

    By the way, what do you think about this icons site?

  3. Thanks for the information, can, I too can help you something?

    By the way, what do you think about this icons site?

  4. What charming idea

    By the way, what do you think about this icons site?

  5. Quite right! It is good idea. It is ready to support you.

    P.S. Please review icons

  6. i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady who encharm him with her beauty, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I complained to my friend and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Saibaba. who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 2days. she ask me to contact Dr Saibaba. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two days my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or the kids. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr Saibaba on any problem, he is very nice, here is his contact templesaibaba@yahoo.com