Ladies' Lounge

Ali Fedotowsky Blogs The Bacheor: Episode 6

February 7, 2012 at 4:01 pm, by Ladies' Lounge

Hi Bachelor friends! I don’t know why, but I actually found myself laughing a lot during this episode—there were so many random and awkward moments. Let’s talk about the good stuff first.

It speaks volumes that Kacie B. got a second one-on-one date. At this point in the episode, we can pretty much be certain that Ben isn’t into the girls who haven’t gotten a one-on-one date up until now. So Jamie, Casey S. and Blakely were all no longer options for me right from the start of this episode. I found it really funny that on Ben’s date with Kacie he said, “Relationships are all about overcoming fears,” while chopping a coconut. Is Ben afraid of coconuts? No wonder Blakely hasn’t gotten a one-on-one! Okay, okay…I couldn’t resist.

Ben and Kacie are so adorable together, right? I love that she was able to open up to him about such a difficult time in her life and I’m really glad that she got the help she needed. Eating disorders are no joke. The pressure women (and men) are under to look a certain way is huge and I hope all of the girls watching out there know that being skinny is not what makes you beautiful. Being healthy is what makes you beautiful, being kind is what makes you beautiful and being YOU is what makes you beautiful.

The kiss between Ben and Kacie at the end of their date was sweet. Her leg flip up (Sex in the City style) was so cute and tells us that she really enjoyed the kiss. Don’t worry Kacie, if Ben doesn’t pick you just call me because I adore you!

There was a lot of awkwardness on the group date as usual. I think it’s blatantly obvious that Courtney is using her sexuality to get what she wants; it’s a bit over the top at this point. I think it would have been fine for her not to wear a bathing suit when dancing with the tribe (do as the locals do) if she and Ben were in a committed, monogamous relationship, but they absolutely are not. There were a bunch of other girls on the date and she should’ve respected that. I’m having a hard time understanding her. She seems to think that the other girls aren’t making “moves” on the date, but the reason they aren’t making moves is because usually all of the girls become friends during the season. So on the group dates, they’re all trying to respect each other and each person’s relationship with Ben. That’s how I felt on my season anyway, and I’m glad I respected the other girls on group dates because some of them became my best friends. I feel bad for Courtney because she isn’t going to come out of this experience with any lifelong friends. Or maybe she will and there’s something we aren’t seeing. I hope she did make friends, for her sake. Read more

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Ali Fedotowsky Blogs The Bachelor: Episode 5

January 31, 2012 at 4:18 pm, by Ladies' Lounge

Hi friends! Welcome back In last night’s episode, all of the girls got to go on a date with Ben, so I was happy for them—it would really stink to be in Puerto Rico and not be able to go out and explore. Speaking of tropical places, I just got back from the beautiful Casa Dorada resort in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and I’m exhausted after an incredible trip with my girlfriends. So I apologize if my blog isn’t on point this time around, but I promise to make up for it next week!

I was really glad that Nikki got a date this week. I liked her the first night but we haven’t really gotten to know her since. Nikki seems really genuine and I loved seeing how relaxed she was with Ben. And even though I think it’s good that Nikki opened up about her marriage, I don’t think it’s a good thing to tell a guy that you had trust issues in your past relationship without going into more detail and explaining why you felt that way. I feel like that puts a warning sign in his head that says, “I’m going to lose my freedom if I get into a relationship with this girl!” I could be totally wrong, but that’s my observation based on my experience with guys. However, I will say that I thought their kiss was super passionate—heck, even I started blushing a little. I think Ben really likes Nikki, or at least really likes kissing her.

The group date this week seemed like a lot of fun. Baseball is such a great idea for a date and I’m all for a little healthy sports competition! I found it very interesting that Ben got to choose a woman to take on the night portion of the date, and it means a lot that he picked Lindzi. It’s not a rose, but in my opinion it’s much better. Usually roses are given to some people because you don’t want to be harsh and send someone home on a one-on-one date. And sometimes you give a rose on a group date to someone who you haven’t spent that much time with, so you want them to feel better by getting the rose. Believe me, there are hundreds of reasons why roses are given out. If who the roses were given to didn’t get switched up every once in a while, I would have given my group date roses to one of three or four guys every single time. However, giving Lindzi more “time” is much more special, and it shows that he wants to be around her and get to know her better. I’m not sure if this makes sense to you guys, but it makes perfect sense in my head, maybe because I lived through it.

On the group date Kacie B. got the rose. I loved when Ben gave her the rose and stated a bunch of reasons why he wanted to give it to her, because I think when he isn’t all that into a girl he’ll usually just say something like “I want to get to know you more.” Yay, Kacie B! I love her to pieces.

I think Elyse is a sweetheart, but I feel bad because I didn’t even know her name until this episode. That fact alone was enough for me to know that she wasn’t going to make it very far in this because the viewers didn’t even know her yet! It was very obvious to me throughout the date that Ben wasn’t feeling it. He wasn’t really talking to her and he was just repeating things she said. I also don’t think Elyse really liked Ben that much; I don’t think she was crying for him per se, I think it was more because she wanted to stay on the show and was maybe hoping for that fairy tale ending. In the end, Ben did the right thing. If you don’t feel it, you can’t force it. Read more

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From One of LHJ’s Own: “Why I Wrote a Historical Thriller” (And a book giveaway!)

January 25, 2012 at 10:52 am, by Ladies' Lounge

First-time novelist and today’s guest blogger Nancy Bilyeau was a features editor at Ladies’ Home Journal for three years. Here, Bilyeau tells the story of how her new novel, The Crown, morphed from a pipe dream into a reality. Plus, find out how to win a copy of her book at the end of the post!

“I want to write a novel set in sixteenth century England.”

That’s what I told the four people sitting in a circle in a small 5th-floor apartment in the West Village seven years ago. In a “What the heck?” spirit, I’d joined a fiction workshop held every Monday night. I wasn’t sure what kind of novel I wanted to write except the century I’d place it in. I’d loved Tudor history since I was 11 years old and saw The Six Wives of Henry the Eighth with my parents. Over the years, I kept coming back to biographies and historical fiction set in the 16^th century. I enjoyed the drama of the personalities, the wars and the divorces, the excitement of the Renaissance—even the fashion.

I wanted to write a woman’s story, but I felt that plenty had already been written about the queens and princesses and ladies-in-waiting. I settled on a protagonist, Joanna Stafford, who was a nun. Henry VIII destroyed the monasteries when he broke from Rome and I was drawn to that turmoil.  While most Tudor historical fiction takes the side of the Reformation, I thought it would be more interesting to explore what happened to the nuns, friars and monks whose lives were upended by this sweeping transformation.

My first pages were not good and my writing group, while perfectly polite, let me know. But I kept at it. I decided to make my story a thriller, and loved nothing more than losing myself in research and plotting my story. I read everything I could find on the Dissolution of the Monasteries and the people at its center. My kind of book isn’t researched through Google: I spent hours at the New York Public Library, poring through the collections. I discovered some of the most exciting, little-known facts in books written more than a century ago. In some cases those writers had access to sources lost to us. I also started corresponding through emails with historians and curators in England. It took months for me to find out what a prisoner would eat while imprisoned in the Tower of London, but I did it! When I got a copy of a 16th century daily “meal sheet” (think mutton, mutton and more mutton), I danced around my apartment.

Read more

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Ali Fedotowsky Blogs The Bachelor: Episode 4

January 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm, by Ladies' Lounge

It’s week four of The Bachelor and there was no shortage of drama this week. My goodness, the claws really came out last night.

Let’s start by talking about how beautiful Park City, Utah is. The countryside is simply breathtaking. Obviously Ben loves the outdoors and is very adventurous so I think it was a great place for him to spend time with all of the women. But I have one question at this point—is it normal for people to still not have gone on individual dates this far in the season? I don’t remember it being week four and guys still not getting dates on my season. Help me out here…my memory is not serving me well today!

The first date went to Rachel, and Kacie B. really took it hard. Poor thing—she is just the cutest and has the sweetest little accent, so it broke my heart to see her cry at the beginning of Ben’s date with Rachel. It was also touching when she said that she hates seeing him go on other dates, but she loves that she gets to see him, if only for a few moments before the date. So sweet.

But the show must go on and The Bachelor wouldn’t be complete without a few helicopter rides! Rachel started off the date by saying that her last relationship ended because of communication issues, and boy was that comment foreshadowing. I think Ben gave her a rose to be nice. I just don’t see how he could think that they could have something long term when they had such a hard time communicating. There were definitely instances on my season where I would give a guy a rose because I liked him as a person and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Not giving someone a rose on a one-on-one date is a lot harsher then not giving someone a rose at a rose ceremony. I’m also not completely convinced that Rachel is into Ben. I think she wants to stay because you never know what could happen, but as of right now, I don’t think she is feeling him at all.

This week’s group date was really cool because it was so normal. Ben riding the horse with the girls reminded me of riding the horses with the guys in Iceland. Remember how Craig R. got the smallest horse? It was basically the runt of the group and Craig is 6’4” so it was pretty funny. Anyway, I also absolutely loved the fishing part of the date. It seemed like a lot of fun and it’s something that Ben might actually do with his fiancé in the future. Read more

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Ali Fedotowsky Blogs The Bachelor: Episode 3

January 17, 2012 at 3:32 pm, by Ladies' Lounge

Hi guys! So much happened in last night’s episode of The Bachelor—people left, surprise visitors showed up and the claws came out! Despite everything that went down, I simply loved watching this episode because I was so excited that the dates were in San Francisco, my neighborhood!

I love how this season focuses on taking the girls to places where they’ll be living in real life if they end up with Ben after the show is over. I also think it’s great that Ben got to talk to his sister about the girls early on. I didn’t get to talk to my family about the guys until I was down to the final two, and it’s hard going through everything in the beginning without being able to talk to the people you love about it. Oh, and is it just me or does Ben’s sister look like a cross between Shawntel Newton and Kourntey Kardashian? If you don’t remember what she looks like, Google her. She’s a dead ringer for those two! Also, the place Ben and his sister were eating at during the episode is called The Grove and it’s in the Marina district of San Francisco. It’s funny because I go there all the time—it was so weird seeing him at all of the places I go to everyday. I have a feeling that we’re all going to be best friends when Ben and his new fiancé move back to San Francisco after the show!

Let’s talk about Emily—she’s such a cutie! I love getting to know the girls better as the show goes on and I’m realizing that Ben has a great group of girls to choose from. Their date was pretty spectacular and somewhat reminded me of my first date with Roberto when we walked a tightrope between two buildings in Los Angeles. People ask me if I was nervous when we did that and I always say no. It was actually a lot of fun and not scary at all. That said, what Emily and Ben did on the bridge looked terrifying! Walking along a bridge like that seems dangerous with all of the cars rushing by! Their dinner together was adorable, though. I think they had a great connection and it was so endearing when he said that she was smarter than him. Emily is definitely a contender in this; I think she will go far.

Then there was the group date—I can’t believe they got to shut down a street in San Francisco and ski down it! The girls were seriously brave for skiing in their bathing suits. I never would have been able to do that. Kacie had me cracking up the whole time; she was such a good sport! The evening part of the date wasn’t super-interesting to me, but it was nice to see Ben and Kacie reconnect. I know how hard it is trying to remember your connection with the bachelor and not focus on the connections you see him forming with other girls. She seems like she’s doing a great job with that. Read more

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Book Club Guest Blog: Motives, A Character Discussion

January 13, 2012 at 10:33 am, by Ladies' Lounge

This week’s post is by Neely Kennedy of Reading Group Choices, a leading online resource for book club tips and discussible selections. 

In the LHJ Book Club pick for February, The Revenge of the Radioactive Lady, author Elizabeth Stuckey-French explores the motives that propel her characters to act in very strange ways in this wonderfully quirky novel. The main character, Marylou, is a woman hell-bent on exacting revenge for a secret government medical study that caused the death of her eight-year-old daughter.

Motives are a critical component in character development for compelling story telling, and in a book club setting, one of the most important focuses of discussion.  A gifted author skillfully develops characters that intrigue us, and keep us turning the pages to find out the “why” behind the characters’ actions. Similarly, a good writer will allow the characters’ motives to unfold in a way that, even if we find their actions morally questionable at the beginning of the book, we will gradually start to understand them, sympathize with them and, usually, forgive them for their flaws.

These descriptions of the characters in The Revenge of the Radioactive Lady are followed by brief excerpts that provide glimpses into the real emotions underlying the motives of each of Stuckey-French’s characters. This is a technique you can use as a tool to provoke fascinating book-club discussions of almost any title.

Marylou’s Motive: Revenge

Marylou’s underlying emotions of deep anger, grief, and loneliness stem from the loss of her daughter to bone cancer because of a ghastly radioactive cocktail she was instructed to drink during her pregnancy.

Desperation was the mother of invention. By the time she got back to Reeve’s Court, Marylou had devised a brand-new attack plan. She would continue with her efforts to make Wilson remember and apologize, but she would also take steps to destroy his family, the way he’s destroyed hers. It would surely make him miserable to watch his family suffer, the way she’d had to watch Helen and Teddy suffer.

Ava’s Motive:  Acceptance

Ava is admired for her beauty, but overprotected and misunderstood because of her Asperger’s Syndrome, she is desperate to be independent and live a life of relative normalcy.

It was depressing to realize that she didn’t fit in here, and she sure didn’t fit in with the so-called typical people. So what was left? Living with her mother for the rest of her life? She’d rather kill herself.

Read more

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Ali Fedotowsky Blogs The Bachelor: Episode 2

January 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm, by Ladies' Lounge

Another week of The Bachelor and I absolutely loved tonight’s episode. Lots of drama, tears (both good and bad) and the beginnings of love—all of the things we love about this show. I want to start off by saying that I will use this blog to share my thoughts on Ben’s season, but I will also relate it to my own experience—I hope you guys like that format. I feel like the reason most of you are reading this is because I have a unique view of what happens on the show (because I experienced it) and I will express those views using examples from my time as the bachelorette. Though I do have to admit, watching the show brings back old memories and it’s hard to watch sometimes, so bear with me and I hope you enjoy!

The first date of the season went to the adorable Kacie B. I was really surprised to see that Kacie’s date started when it was dark out—normally the dates go all day and into the night. But it seemed like the little time they spent together was good quality time, and that’s all that matters. I love that Ben was a good sport about twirling the baton while marching down the street even though he was really bad at it! The chemistry between the two of them was great to see.

They talked about some pretty heavy stuff for a first date but they both seemed so comfortable. One thing I took pride in on my season was that I was always 100% “real” with all of the guys and I never wanted it to seem like we were making a show or I was giving a speech. And what I like about Ben is that he is real! It’s so clear to me that he isn’t trying to put on a show or lead on the girls, and I really appreciate his genuineness. The childhood videos at the end of the date had me in tears. Watching something that personal on a first date could have been really awkward for Ben if he wasn’t with the right girl, so I’m glad he had a great girl like Kacie by his side for that. The only person I have ever been really close to that has passed away is my grandmother, and if I heard her voice for the first time in five years I would just lose it. Seeing the tears in Ben’s eyes touched my heart. Read more

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