bad presents

Cheat Sheet: What NOT to Get Everyone On Your List

December 17, 2010 at 3:13 pm , by

Sometimes things get a little too stressful this time of year. In the rush of going to parties, hosting parties, baking cookies, and all that wrapping, things that would be laughable at any other time all of a sudden become a good idea. It’s the only reason I can come up with for owning a Big Mouth Billy Bass. That’s why for this week’s Cheat Sheet, I’m pointing out gifts you should absolutely keep out of your shopping cart — no matter how great it seems at the time.

1. The TV Hat
The TV Hat is a baseball cap with a bigger bill that provides blinders so you can watch videos on your smartphone or Mp3 player. The ad says you can use it while camping, at the beach, on your lunch hour or even in bed, but I have a hard time imagining anyone ever would.

2. Smoking Mittens
Yes, it’s always nice to think of ways to keep someone warm, but don’t encourage this awful, dangerous habit as well.

3. The Pet Petter
Pets are wonderful. And filthy. But that doesn’t mean any pet owner would want to delegate the task of petting to a machine.

4. The Head Halter
The head halter is designed to improve posture and alleviate back pain, but it also sends the message that you might be thinking of torturing whomever you decided to gift this to.

5. Hook, Line & Stinker
I’m pretty sure the picture of this game is worth far more than 1,000 words. No one wants to be that guy. That’s all.