Can This Marriage Be Saved? Following My Dream Nearly Cost Me My Marriage

October 13, 2011 at 2:17 pm , by

Working moms and wives today crave one thing most of all: more balance. Time for your career, your kids, your husband, yourself (gasp!)—like Liz Lemon, we just want to have it all. Gillian, 41, thought she’d finally figured it out. She’d quit her high-power, high-stress (and high-paying) banking job and open a yoga studio in her home. Her husband, Kevin, 42, would relocate his photo studio there as well, they’d both get tons more family time with their 8-year-old twin boys, she’d stop buying fancy clothes and dining to save money, and Everything. Would. Be. Perfect. And it was! Until it wasn’t. (Read the full story here).

Gillian’s turn: She thought Kevin was totally on board with the yoga-photo-studio plan, but now he’s balking. He’s changed his mind about moving his photography business from its current location, and works seven days a week. The addition they’re putting on their house for the yoga studio is also way over budget, and though Gillian knows she’ll recoup the cash once she opens, tensions are high. Kevin’s started yelling at Gillian in front of their kids, refusing to talk things out like they always would. He ignores Gillian’s requests to help with things around the house, and she hates nagging him, but just needs some things done! Their arguing has completely slowed her sex drive, which just causes more fighting. She doesn’t want a divorce, but can’t believe her perfect life has become such a mess.

Kevin’s turn: It’s always bugged Kevin that Gillian took home the bigger paycheck, and he’s excited to grow his business and become family’s main breadwinner—but also, unsurprisingly, a little scared. If he moves his studio, he’ll lose clients and students, and he doesn’t see how he can give up photographing events on nights and weekends. The honey-do list new stay-at-home Gillian has given him is driving him mad—she notices small details she never did before, always dislikes how Kevin does things, and then withholds sex as punishment. And as for cutting back on their spending? Gillian’s wardrobe and the family’s leftover take-out beg to differ. Kevin loves Gillian, but if they’re going to radically change their lives, it’s going to have to be a two-way street. He has dreams he wants to fulfill just like she does.

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Passionate Ladies: Terri Haskins

October 30, 2009 at 5:12 pm , by

terrihaskinsWho says you can’t pursue your dream job in this bad economy?

Terri Haskins realized hers when she reinvented her 17-year career as an entertainment marketing executive and started her own interior design company, Presentations Elements of Design. She left her former life in the music biz, having worked with  performers in Hip-Hop, like Mary J. Blige and Will Smith, and enrolled back into college after 23 years to earn an associates’ degree in interior design.

A bold move in this recession? Yes. Worth the risk? Absolutely. ”Work has definitely slowed down because this is a luxury-based business,” says Haskins. “But that just motivates me to be more aggressive and proactive in gaining new clientele.”

And don’t think for a second that being your own boss makes it any easier. The hours are longer and tougher, and every move you make has to be weighed out by both sides of your brain. But the real reward is the finished product, a design drawn and drafted from your own ideas. “That’s a dream come true for me,” says Haskins.

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