February 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm , by Sonia Harmon
“Where do I stand?” is the battle the heart begins to fight when you’re a contestant on The Bachelor. Some relationships begin to progress and some stay at a standstill, not ever having the opportunity to grow. On The Bachelor the “love thing” is a one-way street: the Bachelor can’t tell any of the women what he feels for them. When a girl says “I love you” he can’t say anything back. He’s also not supposed to tell a woman she won’t be going home. So because his relationshipa to the women on the show are a one-way street, many of them are confused, some are more confident than they should be and others are not as confident as they could be.
I remember having those feelings when I was one of a handful of women left. All of us were trying to figure out if we were the right girl for the guy we were all dating. My confidence was particularly rocked the week right before hometown dates. I had just had an incredible “one on one” date and felt confident that our relationship was growing, yet I saw other women coming back from their dates glowing and feeling as confident as I did. I felt like my mind was playing tricks on me. But then I decided to ask myself, “Why does this matter? If he wants to continue to see where our relationship goes and meet my family, it will happen. This isn’t a competition and I don’t want to force anything.”
It’s so easy for this situation to become a “competition,” but I think that naturally, the women are trying to protect themselves from rejection. They are constantly trying to figure out where they stand so they can let their hearts continue to fall in love or so they can prepare themselves for heartache. Two women have already told Brad that they’ve fallen in love with him. Will the others find the confidence to let their hearts go as they take their Bachelor home to their families? I can’t wait to see!
February 10, 2011 at 10:35 am , by Sonia Harmon
Sometimes I think we do a little dance throughout life, with a few steps forward and a few steps back, but by doing this we can create our own dead ends. This week the beautiful ladies of The Bachelor have found themselves doing just that—after weeks of breaking down walls they’re putting them back up, although one confident and very “in-love” lady seems to be bulldozing through!
The first couple of weeks of my experience on The Bachelor were all about becoming vulnerable with my Bachelor and getting comfortable in my own skin in a very unique environment, and for the first couple of weeks it seemed like I was making progress along with the other women as we got familiar with our surroundings, each other and our Bachelor. But right around week five everything crumbled. I remember two of the girls on my season really started to gang up on one another. They were so worried about each other being there that they got competitive and almost forgot that there was still an important connection to be made with the Bachelor! Many of us even started to compare ourselves to specific girls that were still around thinking, “If she’s here, why am I here, we’re nothing alike…”
It’s so easy to sabotage a possible relationship by putting up walls or making comparisons. The most important thing is to focus on yourself and be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table in a relationship. Chantal O. seems to have found the confidence she needs and has already given her heart to Brad by declaring her love for him. I’ve never seen someone on The Bachelor say that so early on, so I’m excited to see if this builds an emotional tie between her and Brad more quickly than usual. Could she really be “the one”?! We still have several girls to say goodbye to before we see which woman is the last one standing.
February 1, 2011 at 11:23 am , by Ladies' Lounge
The past seven and a half months have been incredibly special for me because I’ve had some amazing opportunities to travel with someone who has become one of my greatest friends: my boyfriend, Kiptyn Locke. In October we were both invited to an extremely special and important benefit for the Andre Agassi Foundation in Las Vegas. We were both so honored to be there and it is still one of our favorite events we have attended together! But it just so happens that this week’s episode was being filmed while we were there! We even bumped into some of our old behind-the-scenes Bachelor folks being all sneaky… but they didn’t fool us, especially after people continued to approach us telling us that The Bachelor was filming around the corner! Plus we had a feeling those fireworks we saw were part of a Bachelor spectacular!
This week Emily took a courageous spin around the Las Vegas Motor Speedway that broke down one huge barrier, allowing her to begin to look ahead to her future rather than stay in the past, remembering a really tragic day. I was struck with emotions as I watched Emily take the wheel in a place that was holding her back—and as she started the engine to that race car she said, “I will not bring anything from my past into today.” She took off on the track and it was like she was shedding old skin to begin anew. It’s amazing how the challenges put before us—as painful as they can be—can be the best things for us. I don’t know Emily, but my heart was full of pride for her!
I am grateful for the places the last seven and half months with Kiptyn have taken me; we’ve met people facing crazy challenges every day. These adventures and my relationship have inspired me to live big and do what I can to make a difference. I am so encouraged to look at life and how I live it, opening my eyes to future dreams and looking forward instead of looking back. Cheers to Emily and all: There are great things to come, today is a new day!
January 25, 2011 at 11:29 am , by Sonia Harmon
Being on The Bachelor is certainly a challenge for the women for obvious reasons. There are several ladies vying for one man’s attention, hoping to have the greatest connection and to be the last girl standing in the end. For myself, it was a quiet battle in my head and heart, and as I watched this week’s episode I remembered all of those emotions. Just like Brad’s women started to break down as they were gaining connections and feelings for him, the women on my season did the same. It almost became a daily thing to hear that someone was packing their bags to go home, yet none of them really did leave, and as the emotions grew deeper the more intense it became for all of us.
When I stepped out of the limo on the very first night I had no expectations—I didn’t even think I’d make it past the first night. Not having expectations helped, but I still fought my own insecurities and doubts as I fell for my Bachelor hoping I’d be that girl that he would share a very special connection with. It was hard, because in the beginning of the journey I had to share most of my time on group dates and I even went a week not sharing any quality time with him. I began to doubt any connection as I saw him connecting with the others. As I quietly struggled, I realized I wasn’t the only woman there wanting that man’s attention or favor. We all wanted to have a fair chance to get to know him and test the waters. Once I became conscious of this I began to build confidence in who I was and trust in knowing that if we were meant to be we would be. I couldn’t force it.
It’s hard to watch these women go through this psychological roller coaster as they all fall for Brad. I just wish I could tell them what I learned. It will be interesting to see how these women handle themselves in the coming weeks. I’m curious to see if the dynamics from this week will break one of them…
January 18, 2011 at 11:49 am , by Sonia Harmon
When in a dating relationship there is eventually that moment when you choose to reveal who you truly are, becoming completely vulnerable, and unmasked before the other person. On The Bachelor, it’s hard to know when the right time to do this is, especially when you realize you’re sharing your deepest secrets and completely opening your heart to someone you may only know for a brief instant in your life, but not only that, you’re about to share your intimate life details to millions of viewers.
By week three of my journey on The Bachelor, I knew I needed to become completely vulnerable before Jake (my Bachelor), so that he would have a chance to know me, to know my story, and how it had changed my life and helped me become the woman I was sitting before him. While looking for my “right moment” to open up my heart, I wanted to play a little joke on him to break the ice. As the two of us finally found some good one-on-one time together I said, “I have something important to tell you… I’m pregnant.” I surprised myself, I couldn’t believe I could even keep a straight face, the poor guy; his heart was beating out of his chest! After what seemed like forever, but actually only seconds, I shouted out, “I’m kidding, I’m so sorry…” The poor guy… then I shared my personal story, because I found my “right time,” and became vulnerable not only before this man, but the world. I conquered.
As I watched this third week of The Bachelor, I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies for the ladies as they searched for their “right moment.” The personal stories each one shared brought tears to my eyes, a thumping in my heart and a sense of triumph for each of them for finding the courage to peel back the layers so that they could become vulnerable to allow the possibility of love. Even Miss Madison, “fang girl,” showed how vulnerability is such a beautiful thing.
January 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm , by Ladies' Lounge
This week guest blogger and former bachelorette Tenley Molzhan weighs in on the current season of ABC’s The Bachelor, where Brad Womack returns as the bachelor to find love.
A year ago, I found myself on a very unique journey to find love on The Bachelor. He wasn’t the right one for me, but I know what it’s like to go through that, so as I watch the current season of this addicting reality show I can’t help but feel like I’m right back there.
On last night’s episode Ashley H. received the first one-on-one date with Bachelor Brad at a private carnival. They found it easy to talk, sharing similar family stories that shaped who they are today. Ashley H. is one of my front-runners, and I’m excited to see if she’ll continue to help Brad with his commitment issues.
Brad’s group date later with all 15 women was supposed to be about creating PSAs to bring awareness to Blood Donor Month, but between Michelle’s need for attention and Melissa and Raichel competing with each other, it was almost forgotten.
It was nice to see Brad take Jackie on a classic Pretty Woman date. He seemed smitten with her, and while he did say that he was nervous about her dating history, or lack thereof, he still wants to give her a chance.
Now on to the rose ceremonies—they are intense and emotions run high, as every girl wants to stay. In the end Brad chose the two rivals, Melissa and Raichel, and the leggy Rockette, Keltie to leave. But the drama is far from over and there’s plenty of love and romance to come. There are several girls we still don’t know much about yet, so get ready, it’s just the beginning!