My Mother's Words of Wisdom

More Words of Wisdom from Mom

I am the oldest of five girls and a few years ago my sister Vicky was hit by a car and killed while riding her bicycle. Just before I gave the eulogy at her funeral, I turned to my mom and said, "I can't do this." She looked at me with love and gave me the same advice she'd given me and all my sisters countless times in our lives: "Of course you can." Her words were an anchor that day and in the days since. Now, when I look at my daughter, Bowe Victoria, who's named after my sister, I think, "You can do anything. Of course you can." Just like Mom said.
- Reader Angie Nevarez, New York City

One day a few years ago I told my mother that I dreamed of quitting my job as a therapist so that I could write and perform a one-woman show. I was scared of failing, but she said, "Honey, calm down. Let's burn that bridge when we get to it." I laughed. She was born in Colombia and sometimes misspoke in English. I said, "Mom, you're saying it wrong. It's cross that bridge." But she hadn't made a mistake. She told me, "Honey, when you're going through life, you're going to burn some bridges along the way. But it doesn't matter what people think as long as you're following your heart." After a battle with breast cancer, she died in November 2011. Six months later I took her advice, quit my job, and began burning my own trail toward my dreams. Thanks, Mom.
- Reader Jen Bosworth, Chicago

I was 14 and dealing with a mean girl at school. When I told my mother how this girl had humiliated me once again, she said, "You know, you have to forgive her." It didn't make sense to me, but my mom explained that simply forgiving someone is the right thing to do. I realized how true it was. If you don't forgive, it's like letting the person who hurt you live rent-free in your head. I used to think forgiveness meant you had to kiss and make up. It doesn't. You can forgive someone and still cut her out of your life. My mom's advice is still invaluable years later.
- Reader Christi Paul, Atlanta

My mother spent much of her life doing things for other people, so when she was dying from cancer last June, I spent a lot of time worrying that she'd never done anything for herself. One day she said, "I never wrote my book." I thought she was referring to a dream she'd given up, and I was heartbroken. Then she added softly, "It would have been a book about how much I loved you all." Those words transformed my whole understanding of her life. My mom hadn't neglected herself or sacrificed anything. She was giving love, and when that love was returned to her, she was full. From that point forward, it changed the way I went into every situation. Now, like my mom, I always lead with love.
- Reader Patty Lennon, Danbury, Connecticut

When I was in fifth grade, my friend showed me a birthday card from her mother in which her mom had written, "to my best friend." I was a little jealous, so when I got home from school I asked my own mother if she and I were best friends. She looked surprised. "No, I'm not your best friend," she told me. "I'm your mother." I was disappointed, but as I got older, I understood that she was saying something entirely different: I'm her only daughter, and she's my only mom, and that's a special relationship we will never have with anyone else. I know now that friends come and go throughout life, but my mother and I will be there for each other forever.
- Reader Kristin Dwyer, New York City