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"The first meal I ever cooked for Marlboro Man was linguini with clam sauce. He ate a whole bunch of it and I thought, 'Oh cool, he loves it.' So I filled up his plate again. Now I know the meal was something my husband would never eat: He doesn't like anything fishy and it had long noodles, which he thinks are unwieldy. He later told me he hoped a prairie fire would break out so he'd have an excuse to jump into his pickup truck and run."