Top 10 Turkey Traumas

Top 10 Turkey Traumas

A flustered father called the Talk-Line a few hours after his wife had given birth to their first child. He was concerned their turkey had been thawing in the fridge for too long while he was at the hospital. When the staffer asked the man how much it weighed, he replied, "The turkey or the baby?" After determining the turkey's weight and thawing time, she assured him he would be able to deliver a safe, delicious Thanksgiving dinner by the time Mom and the baby returned home.

When a Talk-Line staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in -- meaning how thawed was it -- the caller responded, "Florida."

After discovering a turkey from 1969 in his dad's freezer, an Alabama man called the Talk-Line to ask about the best way to cook the 30+ year-old bird. Although the Talk-Line staffer recommended the open roasting pan method to cook most turkeys, she also suggested that the first step might be to purchase a fresher fowl! Also in the man's freezer: the top of his wedding cake, and a snowball from every snowstorm he'd experienced in Alabama.

One caller was well-versed at walking down the aisle, but not so adept when it came to cooking her Thanksgiving turkey. The caller explained that Thanksgiving with her first husband was a bust since she forgot to thaw the turkey. She blundered Thanksgiving with her second husband when the foil pan she was using bent and slipped out of her hands, leaving the feast on the floor. She was hoping Thanksgiving with her third husband would fare better, so she called the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line to make sure she was doing everything right!

A disappointed woman called wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. After a conversation with a Talk-Line operator, it became apparent that the woman's turkey was lying on the table upside down.