"He Flirts with Other Women Because I've Lost My Looks"

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His Turn

"I was first attracted to Judy because she was a knockout," said Ted. "Hey, I was a 21-year-old guy with hormones! She could have been a Playboy centerfold. I loved watching other guys practically walk into lampposts staring at her.

"The relationship wasn't just superficial, though. Judy turned out to be incredibly sweet and giving, and we liked all the same books, movies, songs, food and, well, everything. When I got down on one knee on Valentine's Day to ask her to marry me, I quoted Elvis Presley's song 'Can't Help Falling in Love.' A year later that was our song for the first dance at our wedding reception.

"After that everything went the way we planned: My business took off, our two boys were born healthy, and Judy was able to stay home with them until they started kindergarten. The only glitch was that Judy was upset because she'd gained weight with her pregnancies. Afterward she was so busy with our sons that she had no time for the gym and couldn't drop the pounds. I kept telling her to get a sitter so she could go work out, but she thought I was saying I didn't like the way she looked.

"The situation has gotten worse lately. Her skin has aged a lot in the last few years and she gained even more weight. But I never, ever criticized her. She's the one who has been hard on herself. And I know it hasn't helped that I still look pretty young. I'm just lucky.

"I guess that's why women gravitate to me. It drives Judy nuts when we're at a party, but it's just meaningless fun. I'd never have an affair and I'd never leave Judy. I'm a family man through and through. But when I said that to her, she started crying and yelling that I insulted her by implying I'm true to her only out of duty. We ended up having the fight to end all fights -- and she wouldn't let go of it. She said we had to see a counselor.

"She also keeps saying she wants to get plastic surgery. That would cost a fortune, and I think it would just be a surface fix. Why can't she accept the way she is now and believe me when I say I still love her? That's what we need to fix, not her wrinkles."

Continued on page 3:  The Counselor's Turn


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