"The Kids Are Gone and We're Strangers"

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He Says

"I Want to Turn Back Time"

"Kate's right. I am sad. I never thought the kids' leaving would affect me this way," said Phil. "I look at their baby pictures and want to turn back time.

"I'm not comfortable with counseling. The one time we went, I was constantly on the hot seat. But I want to be happy as much as Kate does. She has always brought out the best in me. She digs deep, tries to get me to communicate. I'm not good at that.

"But I do resent the way she blames me for everything wrong in our marriage. She's always been controlling -- whether it's what movie to see or whether to go away for a weekend, the decision is in her hands. Just once, it would be nice do what I want.

"Kate also holds grudges. I mean, she's still talking about that ice cream cone! Was that a federal offense? I genuinely thought she'd like to try a new flavor. And I know I messed up with the dentist. But it's not as if she was standing in the pouring rain; she was in a comfortable waiting room with a book. There should be a statute of limitations on the amount of time I'm condemned for these things.

"I know I get angry too easily, especially when I'm driving, but Kate's anxieties make me crazy. I'm worried about Meg, too, but I can't spend every waking minute discussing every possible thing that could go wrong. Kate starts her day anxious!

Continued on page 4:  He Says, continued


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