"We Can't Get Over Our First Marriages"

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His Turn, continued

"Krista brought me happiness when I didn't think I'd ever experience it again. Sure, I miss my modern paintings and sleek furniture. Put Krista in a room for five minutes and she's already redecorating. But we worked that out. My home in Maryland stays as is; our house stays her way. 

"I've often been baffled by Krista's anger. I had no idea that she took my comments about the baking pan or the ironing as such piercing rebukes. She's very soft-spoken and I'm right out there, so maybe the way I say things comes across more harshly than I realize. I'm the kind of guy who talks about a problem, resolves it and moves on. If something bothers Krista, she retreats. Sometimes she doesn't speak to me for days and then she blows up. 

"Some of our biggest disagreements are over her children. She thinks I don't like her kids and grandkids, which is totally untrue. It's just that getting used to a life that is so different from my old one is traumatic. Krista and I have never had a honeymoon period when we could learn to adjust to being with each other. Wherever we are, we never have privacy. It's hard to romance my wife when children are running up and down the stairs. 

"I know it sounds crazy, but we actually never talked about the reality of living together or about how much time we'd spend at home versus traveling. We were so much in love, and excited about finding each other, that nothing else seemed to matter. What do I have to do to convince her that my love is real?"

Continued on page 5:  The Counselor's Turn


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