"He Doesn't Keep His Word"

Her Turn, Continued

"With no money for college, I got a job at an insurance company in New York City and took night classes to learn interior design. My coworkers -- Phil was one of them -- were so encouraging whenever I had to leave early for class. I felt like Melanie Griffith in Working Girl; all my big-city dreams were coming true, especially after Phil and I got together. He introduced me to old movies in SoHo, weekends at country inns, and long walks in Central Park. I'd never had so much fun.

"We got married after I graduated and joined the firm where I currently work. Shortly after that, we bought a small fixer-upper in the suburbs. About two years ago Phil opened his own insurance agency. I wasn't thrilled about it; why leave a good job for something so risky? But he's been successful, and his employees can't praise him enough. Apparently I'm the only person alive who doesn't think he's a great guy.

"Our most serious blow-up was about our credit card debt. We owe about $30,000, mostly for house renovations. I hate carrying such a big balance, so about a year ago we had a perfectly reasonable conversation and agreed to pay it off over the next two years. He said he'd set up a plan to have a fixed amount automatically deducted from our savings account every month.

"Every so often, I'd ask about the payments and he'd brush me off. This went on for months. Finally, a few weeks ago, he admitted he'd never set up the plan. I was livid and let him know it. Why would he deceive me like that? What else hasn't he told me? We had such an epic battle we didn't speak for a week.

"After we finally made up, Phil was nice and attentive -- for about two days. Then he was back to his sour, silent self. I love my husband, but if he doesn't change, I'm out of here."