"I'm Worried He's Going to Cheat on Me"

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His Turn

"I'm sorry I had to threaten my wife with divorce, but it was the only way I could get her to understand that she's ruining our marriage," said Matt, 35. "In all the years I've known Kim, I've never even considered being unfaithful. Yes, I suppose I could pursue a woman who hits on me, but why would I? Kim is the love of my life: Not only is she beautiful but she's smart, witty, a terrific mother, and my best friend. Without her support I'd be stuck in a dead-end construction job instead of running my own landscaping business and earning a six-figure income. But how many times must I endure her tirades? How many times must I reassure her that I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our marriage?

"Of course I enjoy female attention. It makes me feel good, especially because I get so little from Kim. She rejects me in bed and no longer cares about my career. If I sign a lucrative new client, she doesn't want to hear about it. If someone congratulates me on a project, she walks away. I give her plenty of attention -- I compliment her appearance and parenting skills -- but she dismisses it.

"When I say 'female attention,' by the way, I mean a smile, glance or compliment -- not lingering stares and overt sexual remarks. That's just embarrassing. Frankly, I'm amazed at how aggressive some women are, and I do understand why Kim gets upset. But in the past few years her jealousy has gotten out of control, to the point where I dread going out in public with her for fear that she'll make a scene or explode when we get home. Look, I know she was deeply hurt by her father's and ex-boyfriend's philandering. But their infidelity doesn't make all men unfaithful. I've never given Kim a reason to mistrust me. I'm sick of the fighting, name-calling and distancing. We still enjoy family activities with Evan and Josh, but I miss the fun we once had as a couple, including our active sex life."

Continued on page 4:  His Turn, continued


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