"While I Was Trying to Get Pregnant, He Was Having an Affair"
His Turn"Now I'm 'One of Them'"
"I used to look down on guys who cheat on their wives," said Brent, a handsome man of 37. "Now I'm one of them and I'm so ashamed I can't look Anna in the eye. But I'm also strangely relieved that she knows. I'm tired of lying.
"How did the affair start? The way these things often do -- after an office party, when we'd both drunk too much. Kay is very sexy and she's into a lot of fantasy stuff I could never ask Anna to do. I sound like a complete caveman, but I wasn't even thinking about the pain I would cause Anna.
"Since I was a kid, I've been the type to pretend everything's fine when bad things happen. My family was not big on talk; stop whining and get moving was the basic MO. My parents had a dismal marriage. Neither one ever expressed affection for each other or their kids. I'd do anything for my two brothers, but my parents -- Dad was an accountant, Mom a homemaker -- paid no attention to me. I don't remember them ever coming to my baseball games. My uncle was more of a dad to me. He gave me my first baseball mitt and took me to my first Atlanta Braves game.
"My uncle was a lawyer, so I wanted to be one, too. Luckily, I won several scholarships to both college and law school. I love my work and feel very fortunate to be with my firm. I've worked with great people on some of the decade's biggest deals.
"I wish I could be as enthusiastic about my marriage. We used to have a healthy sex life, but our focus on our careers killed the sex. Sometimes I'd want to make love, but Anna wouldn't be in the mood, so I didn't push it. Once in a blue moon we'd go away for a weekend, have fantastic sex and say, "Let's do this more often!" But we'd slip back into our old pattern.