"He Was Furious I Got Pregnant Again"

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His Turn

"I've been a complete jerk," said Greg, 35, his voice cracking. "I had no idea Gaby was this unhappy or that I'd been so hurtful to her and the kids. I didn't think I was anywhere near as awful as she says. I was so focused on supporting this family, so wrapped up in myself, that I lost sight of what's important. My family is everything to me, and I've been a terrible husband, a terrible father -- and a terrible manager at work. A few weeks ago my boss called me in to ask if something was wrong. Apparently, many of the people I supervise have been complaining for a long time that I ride them too hard. I need to find a way to calm down. I promise I will if Gaby will just give me another chance.

"I fell madly in love with Gaby the moment we met. She's beautiful and vivacious, and we saw the world through the same eyes. Although Gaby wouldn't agree, I'm convinced our big mistake was having kids too soon. She may doubt this, but I adore all our children. The minute I held each of them I fell hopelessly in love. But I was 23 when Zach was born, much too immature to be a father. We'd barely been married a year, so I resented the attention Gaby focused on the baby. I'm not proud of that, but it's true. I'd want to make love, but Gaby was always too tired. I'd want to go out, but she didn't feel comfortable leaving Zach with a sitter. And on and on.

"Once you have one child, everyone starts asking when you'll have another. Gaby and I both come from large families so there was pressure to have a second, even a third. But after Zoe was born I assumed our family was complete, even if we never said that explicitly. That's why I was so bummed out by this last pregnancy. It could not have come at a worse time: I was overwhelmed at work and worried sick about money. My company had just fired hundreds of employees, leaving me to do the job of three people. Morale was -- and is -- awful because everyone wonders if he'll be next.

"But of course I love our son, and I never meant to hurt or embarrass my wife. Frankly, she's overly sensitive. The people I joked about the pregnancy with are close friends. They knew I was just kidding -- why didn't Gaby?"

Continued on page 4:  His Turn, Continued

 

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