"I Feel Like a Single Mom"

His Turn, continued

"Kate is fond of reminding me that when we got engaged, I told her that I wanted a family like hers growing up. I don't deny that; I did enjoy being with her family. It was a fascinating contrast to my own upbringing. My folks were totally laissez-faire, and my sister and I were on our own a lot. But I had no idea that Kate had this fixed idea of what our future family would be like, and that there was no room for input from anyone else -- even me.

"I keep asking myself, What happened? I fell in love with a beautiful, talented musician. We met when I asked her for her autograph after a concert she played in. She was 19 and a student at Juilliard; I was 20 and a pre-med student at a nearby college. I got up the nerve to ask for her number, and I couldn't believe it when she gave it to me. We started dating immediately, and I fell head over heels. Now that I look back, I think Kate only saw me as "good husband" material. We were young, and our courtship was all about concerts and plays, picnics in the park, moonlight cruises on the river. How was I supposed to know that Kate would morph into the Stage Mom From Hell once we got married?

"Lately, she's been making noises about getting a divorce. Now that I think about it, that's not such a bad idea. If we split, at least I'd have mandated visitation and an opportunity to see my kids alone, on my own terms, without Kate's dictating everyone's move. I loved Kate once, and I hope there's a way to recapture that feeling. But I also love my kids and feel I need to save them from her. Maybe divorce is the only answer."