"Following My Dream Nearly Cost Me My Marriage"
Her Turn, continued
"The two of us have been a couple since 10th grade. After high school Kevin enrolled in art school but dropped out to work for a fashion photographer in Chicago. We got married a year after I graduated from college; he found a good job at a nearby commercial studio while I moved up quickly at my job.
"Kevin was always my biggest supporter, but he has changed. When I first told him my plan, he asked a few questions, nodded and smiled. I had the distinct impression that he thought it was a fantastic idea, too. He mentioned the need for me to curb my spending, and I readily agreed.
"We worked out the details of our new plan, or so I thought. But he seems to have a new reason every day as to why it's not working. Contrary to what he told me, he now claims he doesn't want to move his studio. That was a huge disappointment -- I'd counted on much more family time. Kevin is a terrific father but he has been coming home later and later. Why must he work seven days a week? I'm so angry I've completely lost my desire for sex -- and then we fight about that.
"He also complains that our addition is running way over budget. Well, building always costs more than the original estimate. I'm confident that once I start teaching, I'll recoup the difference. Worst of all, Kevin has begun yelling at me in front of the kids. That is unacceptable.
"We've always been able to talk easily. Now I get 'I don't feel like it.' When he does talk, he accuses me of trying to control him. I hate nagging as much as he hates being nagged. But the way he just ignores my requests stresses me out. If I ask when he's going to be finished with something -- hanging bookshelves in the kids' room, for example -- he'll bark, 'I'll be done when I'm done.' What kind of answer is that?
"Divorce is not part of my vocabulary so I will stick this out no matter how bad it gets. But the better life I'd envisioned has turned into a mess."