"He Hates His Job -- and It's Ruining Our Marriage"

Her Turn

"Jon is so stressed I don't know what to do anymore," said Lara, 35, an extroverted woman who left a job in real estate to care for her now-1-year-old son, Toby.

"I love him so much, but he's become impossible. Jon comes home from work, gives me and Toby a perfunctory hug, then holes up in the den. He says he's working but sometimes I hear him crying in frustration.

"I want to help, but when I ask a question, he gives only a brief, hostile answer. I vacillate between feeling angry that nothing I do can ease his anxiety, and feeling guilty that I feel angry!

"The problem started 11 months ago when Jon took a position as the chief financial officer of a small engineering firm here in Denver. He'd been out of work for a year since his old company merged with a larger one. He had been asked to stay on, but would have had to relocate to Atlanta. We had just started dating, and Jon has told me that I was the big reason he hadn't wanted to pull up roots."