"He's Out of Work -- and I'm Out of Patience"

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His Turn, continued

"From the moment I met Marcy I could barely tear myself away from her. She's petite, with auburn hair, blue eyes, and adorable dimples. As we talked about our college classes and debated current events, she asked challenging questions, defended her opinions, and was a great listener. This was the type of conversation I'd been starved for my whole life! I knew immediately I wanted to marry her." 

"Marcy is right that I haven't defended her to my family. That's because I think she often overreacts. If Mom annoys me, I walk away. That's my style, my way of keeping the peace. So what if she buys holiday clothes for my nieces and nephew? Life's not a scorecard. My parents have been extremely generous to us in other ways, and I won't make a fuss over a dress. I admit they acted atrociously on Yom Kippur, and so did I. It was wrong of me to stay on the sidelines, but in the heat of the moment, I felt overwhelmed. I didn't know how to restore order, let alone smooth hurt feelings. Although I've repeatedly apologized, Marcy refuses to visit my parents' or sister's homes -- an extreme response, in my opinion. What kind of an example are we setting for our children?

"In terms of my employment situation, I wish Marcy would stop berating me about my business failure and badgering me about looking for a job. I need more time to mourn my loss before I launch an aggressive search. What I don't need is her pressuring me or helping me write letters. Still, in spite of everything we've endured these past two years, I love Marcy and don't want to lose her. If marriage counseling will help, I'll gladly try it."

Continued on page 5:  The Counselor's Turn


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