"His Business Crashed -- And So Did Our Marriage"

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His Turn

"Who Knows When Things Will Get Better?"

"If we'd waited one more month to come for marriage counseling, I don't think there'd be a marriage," said 37-year-old Ryan, glumly.

"Why did Carrie marry me if she's so unhappy with the kind of man I am? She knew I wasn't a nine-to-five person. We'd discussed the fact that having my own business was going to involve a lot of financial ups and downs. I feel enough guilt about going bankrupt and enough responsibility for supporting this family; I don't need my wife hammering into my head how stupid I am.

"I really did trust my partner; I couldn't believe he could be such a rat. Yes, Carrie was right about him, but what am I supposed to do about it -- kick myself forever? I'd rather just forget this expensive, messy lawsuit and move on. I learned a hard lesson, but now it's time to look for the next opportunity. My days are spent making phone calls to find another job or see if I can get some financial backing to relaunch my business. But in this economy, who knows when things will get better? Carrie's yelling at me isn't going to make it happen any faster.

"Actually, we're both yelling at the top of our lungs; that's how much Carrie provokes me. I used to try to ignore her, but now I just scream right back. That really bothers me, because I swore I'd never be like my mother. I grew up in a lower-middle-class neighborhood of Hartford, Connecticut, with four younger siblings. Though my mom is sober now, she drank a lot when I was young, and she could be belligerent. When she was too drunk to cook dinner, I did. You could say that was my first on-the-job experience!

Continued on page 4:  His Turn, continued


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