Six Signs You're Getting Dumped
On the Rocks?
Split-up Sign #1: You never get to hear that cute cell phone ring you downloaded just for him
The Symptoms: You guys used to talk several times a week, but lately, the calls come less often. He says he's busy at work, but it just doesn't ring true. Just like your phone.
What's Behind It: After the initial rush of crush endorphins, he's worried that he's become whipped. Regular check-ins are a sign, to him, that he's really getting committed, and the routine makes him feel trapped. Hence, his little phone rebellion.
Salvage it: Become less available. Make cool plans, particularly ones that he'd find fun, and become tantalizingly busy. Once he sees that as an independent chickie, you're not going to entrap his free spirit, he should snap out of it.
Scrap it: Allow your calls to slack off at exactly the same rate, until nobody is calling anybody. Voila: uncomfortable conversation averted.
Wrong Tactic: Calling obsessively and hanging up on him. He may be immature, but he is capable of seeing right through that blocked number on his caller I.D.
Split-up Sign #2: Your sheets are distressingly un-mussed
The Symptoms: There's been a negative change in your sex pattern - in other words, you're just not doing it as much.
What's Behind It: There could be several reasons for the doin'-it decline: a health problem, maybe work woes. Or there could be a real issue at hand: he's tired of the same-old same-old, and his libido has taken a snooze.
Salvage it: Give it a few weeks, to be sure there isn't some temporary trouble that has nothing to do with you. Then invite him over, and greet him at the door in a French maid outfit. With a feather duster.
Scrap it: If weeks become months and the spark seems to have truly faded, the "we'd-be-better-friends-than-lovers" speech might actually work here -- and might even, for once, be true.
Wrong Tactic: Asking about it directly. Men are fragile creatures, and a direct assault will surely scare the groundhog right back into his den. And a girl with her hands on her hips, nagging "Why won't you have sex with me?" ... Not alluring.
Split-up Sign #3: When it comes to making plans... he won't.
The Symptoms: God forbid you buy tickets to anything -- you eat your heart out while he decides if he'll be able to make it, even with a healthy three-week lead time.
What's Behind It: Making plans equals planning for the future. Planning for the future equals commitment.
Commitment equals FEAR! Get it? Your guy might resist the nonrefundable package deal to New Orleans. Or he might get spooked each Saturday. It sorta depends on his personality.
Salvage it: This is bad behavior, and there's only one way to tame it: Disappear. Give him one chance to get on board, and then make alternate plans -- ones he can't join in on. Yes, it stinks -- you have no boyfriend for, like, three weeks. But if he's worth keeping, he'll get the hint. Pronto.
Scrap it: Then again, if he's not worth keeping -- this tactic will prove it, and you can move on without guilt. Hey, you gave him a chance to come along.
Wrong Tactic: Trying to make rules and insisting that he come to Saturday game-night or suffer an hour-long tirade. Sheesh. Are you his girlfriend, or his mom?