Kasey: A Love Story
I'm amazed when I look at this photo since it seems so normal. In the first weeks after Kasey Rose was born, in October 2011, I thought becoming a mother again was a terrible mistake. I wasn't sure I could let myself love her. Two years earlier my daughters Emma, Alyson, and Katie (8, 7, and 5) were killed in a car accident that became known as the "Wrong Way on the Taconic" tragedy. My husband Warren's sister, Diane, was driving the car, and tests later showed she'd been drinking.
After the accident I was so consumed with grief and anger that I felt I didn't deserve to be happy. I felt guilty playing with Kasey when her sisters weren't here to have fun with us. My friends gushed and cooed over the baby, but I was frozen. Then early one morning Kasey beamed her first toothless smile at me, and my heart began to thaw. Gradually I came to realize that loving Kasey didn't mean I was betraying her sisters. We're all a family, and Kasey is part of a bigger story.
When I was pregnant with Kasey I wrote an article for Ladies' Home Journal and the outpouring of support I received convinced me I should write a book to help other people struggling with tragedy. I'll See You Again is a story about hope. I want everyone to know that even though the worst happened to me, I'm still here.
I think constantly about Emma, Alyson, and Katie. But I also allow myself the pleasures of being with Kasey. At different times she reminds me of each of her sisters, and she's given Warren and me a reason to keep going. I finally understand that we can't control the sadness in our past. All we can do is try to build a future based on love.
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