Relationship Q&A: He Undermines My Authority

Q. My husband keeps letting the kids do things I've forbidden. How can I get him to stop?

Jenn Berman, Psy.D., a psychotherapist in Beverly Hills, California, answers:

A. The two of you need to come up with a joint child-rearing philosophy. Draft a list of your five most common discipline problems and agree upon a solution for each. Neither of you should invoke a different consequence for any of those misbehaviors without first consulting the other.

Do you have a marital problem that you just can't seem to resolve -- over money, sex, kids, work, the in-laws? Send your questions to ctm@meredith.com. Although we can't answer letters personally, we'll choose selected ones each month for our guest therapist to answer.