What Can I Do? 10 Tips for Helping a Friend Who's Sick

Help Her Feel "Normal"

When Bob was still in a coma and I was living in a hotel room in Bethesda, Maryland, one of the many fabulous gifts of help came from my friend Kitty, who lived in Washington, D.C. I was trying to convert family videos to DVD format to play in Bob's room so that he could hear our children's voices, but I was having trouble. Kitty showed up at my hotel, briefly entertained me with stories about her workplace and updates on her family, and took the tapes. She didn't ask any questions or demand information about Bob. Two days later the tapes arrived at the hotel desk, all transferred onto DVDs so we could play them for Bob and help his brain knit itself back together.

My friend's thoughtful gesture and her way of treating me as "normal" was exactly the tonic I needed. In the midst of the tornado raging around my family, I loved it when people talked to me about their aging parents or the fact that their child needed glasses. Sometimes when a person's life has changed so much, she wants to hear what normal sounds like; she wants you to treat her as if her world is just like it used to be.