Everything I Know About Men I Learned from My Sons

Secret Cuddles

When a boy figures out he's becoming a man, he starts pulling away from his mother. Cuddling on the couch becomes banned. Seemingly overnight a once snuggly pajama-clad tyke morphs into a video-playing preteen pinning "Keep Out" signs on the bedroom door.

Still, the grown man in your bed -- the father of your children -- no longer needs to prove his independence. He loved to cuddle as a toddler and probably wants to do it again with someone. That person might as well be you.

Lego castles and outdoor forts. Stuffed animal plays. Marathon bike rides. Long walks to town. Canoe trips down the river. When my boys were young, we were always doing some planned activity. And when they got together with friends they were always running around too. They just didn't hang out and gossip as I remembered doing with my girlfriends.

Raising them taught me the joy of planned activities and projects. Organizing a family hike or paint-the-living-room day was much more fun than checking off a list of tedious chores or heading off to the smelly gym. Given a choice -- horseback riding or out to a movie, a hike or dinner out -- my husband always chooses moving about over just sitting still.

The guys have won me over. I'd rather go riding, too.

Originally published on LHJ.com, November 2005.