He Says, She Says: Getting a Dog, Wearing Skimpy Outfits, and Buying a Motorcycle for a Teen

Doggie Duty

I want a dog but my wife is against it. I told her that I'll be responsible for walking and feeding him, but she just laughs and says that she knows she'll end up doing the dirty work. I'm not a 6-year-old -- why do I need her permission anyway?

She Says: Why do I get the feeling, from the tone of this question, that your wife knows you much better than I do? Tell the truth: Are there unused hang gliders and boat-making kits languishing in your garage? A dog can't be stuffed in the closet to gather dust: It's a member of the family, as much as your children. (You do help with the caretaking of your children, don't you?) So can you honestly say that the dog won't become your wife's responsibility? Right. I didn't think so. You'd better wait until you can give an unequivocal yes.

He Says: Sorry, buddy, on this one I'm on your wife's side. That's because 10 years ago my wife promised that if we got a dog she'd be so attentive I'd never even know he was in the house. Ten years later I'm the one holding the pooper-scooper three times a day, singin' "you ain't nothin' but a hound dog, cryin' all the time." Her exasperated rejoinder: "Do you know how busy I am?" Yes! That's why I didn't want to get the damn dog. My advice? Unless you both have the same level of doggie desire, don't do it.