He Says, She Says: Getting a Dog, Wearing Skimpy Outfits, and Buying a Motorcycle for a Teen

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The New Wisteria Lane

My husband keeps buying me sexy, skimpy outfits. I'm in good shape but I'm too old to be prancing around suburban parties in micro-minis and too-tight tops. I told him if he wanted a hooker, he shouldn't have married a lady!

She Says: First, congratulate yourself. Obviously your husband thinks you're as hot as Gabrielle on Desperate Housewives. But explain that while you love looking good for him, you're feeling as though you're the talk of the PTA. Then compromise: You'll don the stilettos and French maid's uniform in private if he'll lay off demanding the hooker wear in public. (P.S.: Is it possible that you merely think of yourself as too old and that you're dressing like a mother superior when your body and your age allow you to dress like a vixen?)

He Says: I don't know Mars from Venus. Bud I do know that nothing illustrates the differences between my wife and me more than our reactions to a lingerie catalog. While I'm imagining her in a skimpy outfit, she's picturing a thong riding up her rear. My advice (thought it is totally ignored at my house) is to release your inner tramp, preferably on a Friday night. If the push-up bra and French-cut bikinis do the trick, you won't be wearing them for long anyway. And I guarantee he'll smile through the honey-do list on Saturday.

Continued on page 3:  Safety Crash Course


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