Marriage Advice on Weight Gain, In-Laws, and Male Bonding

Dealing with the In-Laws

My mother-in-law came to stay with us for two weeks and she was rude and obnoxious the whole time. We had a screaming match, and I refuse to apologize. My husband says I have to.

She says: Sorry, your husband's right and you're wrong. With mothers-in-law, you gotta suck it up and I don't care if she's Joan Crawford. Besides, don't you want a man who respects his mother? If he's not kind to the woman who selflessly stayed up all night long with him when he was sick and then allowed him to puke all over her early the next morning, as well as patiently enduring his two-hour monologues on Thomas the Tank Engine, what chance do you have?

He says: You have little choice but to get along with your mother-in-law. She's going to be around as long as you're married. Keep in mind, though, that your husband is stuck in the middle. He must keep Mom happy. Simultaneously, he must please you or you will shut him off, reducing his entire sexual existence to surfing the Internet with one hand. Be the bigger person and apologize. Then tell your husband to limit his mom's visits to holidays, like Earth Day.