Marriage Advice on Weight Gain, In-Laws, and Male Bonding
Male Bonding Time
My husband goes out with his buddies every couple of weeks, and I think they're a bunch of immature jerks. Plus, my husband doesn't tell me where they go or what they do. Do I really have to tolerate this?
She says: Chances are excellent that they're doing something moronic yet ultimately innocent. Think boozy poker games, bowling, maybe even a strip club. (Do you care? I wouldn't, if I knew that everything else at home was okay.) You know what's really bugging you? It's not so much where they are going as much as, "Oh, my God, I'm married to someone who is actually friends with these puppetheads!" But you love him anyway. Right?
He says: Remember that you tied the knot figuratively, not literally. You have to let him go out with the boys as long as he's not engaging in activities you find deeply offensive, such as slipping dollar bills into sequined thongs. Simply ask, "Why won't you tell me where you go?" If he insists on secrecy, start going out every two weeks with your girlfriends to undisclosed locations. Soon enough he'll want to know what you've been doing and you'll have bargaining power.
Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal magazine, October 2005.