They Had to Give Back Their Baby Boy

They were devastated when their son's birth mother took him back.
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A Painful Loss

"Cameron was home two weeks when his birth mother wanted him back," Laura Barr told us in May 2000. She and her husband, Mark Musselman, had learned early in the birth mother's pregnancy that they'd be adopting the baby boy she was carrying; the entire family anticipated his arrival. In Colorado, where Laura and Mark live, adoption law allows a birth mother the right to change her mind after a child is born, and in this case she did. When Cameron was taken back, Laura and Mark were devastated, as were their two children, Alexis, then 5, also adopted, and Christopher, then 3, their biological child. Alexis even asked, "Is my birth mommy going to take me away, too?"

Mark, CEO of a sportswear company, swore he would never put his family through that pain again. "The adoption process is so emotionally charged, I don't know if I can handle it," he said. But Laura, a part-time music teacher, was desperate to try one more time. "Two doesn't feel like a family to me," she said. "I want another baby, and I don't understand why Mark is so against it." The two, now both 37, were at a stalemate. Finally, they sought the help of Lynn Heitler, LCSW, a marriage therapist in Denver who helped Laura accept Mark's decision of not going through the adoption process again. Three years later, we checked in with Laura and Mark to see how they are doing.

Continued on page 2:  Did They Succeed?

 

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