Emotional Affairs

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In or Out?

Are you crossing the line? Answer these quick questions to assess if it's an emotional affair:

(Sources: Shirley Glass, author of Not "Just Friends" and Sharyn Wolf, author of How to Stay Lovers for Life: Discover a Marriage Counselor's Tricks of the Trade, Penguin, 1998)

1. Do you touch him in "legal" ways, like picking lint off his blazer? 2. Do you tell him more details of your day than you do your partner? 3. Do you talk with him more about your relationship than you do with your partner? 4. Does your partner have no idea how much time you spend with this guy? 5. Do you pay attention to how you look before you see him? 6. Do you think crush-like thoughts like, "He'd love this song!"? 7. Has one of you said, "I'm attracted to you but I would never act on it because I/you are attached"? 8. Would you feel uncomfortable if your partner saw a videotape of the time you spend with this person?

How many times did you answer "Yes"?

0-1: Friendship/harmless crush. 2-4: Slippery slope. Step back. 5 or more. 911! Emotional affair.

Continued on page 4:  Fess Up


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