Relationship Q&A: Crush on Her Boss

Q. I've got a huge crush on my boss and think about him all the time. I love my husband, but he's not as charming or interesting as this man, and our marriage is in a rut. Are these feelings a sign that my marriage is in trouble?

Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., a family therapist based in New York City and author of Make Up, Don't Break Up (Adams Media), answers:

A. Think of this as a wake-up call, not a death knell. All relationships need periodic tune-ups to avoid getting into a rut.

Having fantasies is fine, as long as you don't act on them. But instead of spending your energy obsessing over your boss, start redirecting that energy back to your husband. For example, write a list of things you love about him. Keep the list in your desk and refer to it often.

Another good idea: Tell your husband exactly what you need from him in order to feel cherished, whether it's more cuddling and kissing or a phone call during the day to check in. Make room in your schedule for romantic evenings and fun activities. Intimacy takes time and effort to maintain, but this work is vital to keeping your relationship fresh.

Don't even think about confessing your feelings to your boss. An office romance would be disastrous both for your marriage and your career.