They Had to Confront Her Affair

The Background

When we first met Christine and Brian Kelly of Camden, Ohio, in January 2000, Christine, now 35, was convinced that their marriage was over. After one particularly tense argument, she stormed out of the house, jumped in her car and drove cross-country -- straight into the arms of her old boyfriend, whom we called "Jeff."

But Brian, now 44, refused to give up on their marriage. He finally tracked Christine down a week later and begged her to give it one last chance. She agreed, and they went to counseling for six months. "Brian never does one thing that he promises to do, and he makes me feel so unimportant," Christine told Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., their New York City-based therapist. "I want a man who understands me." Jeff did, she thought. "I know I have to change, but I don't know how," Brian conceded. "Christine can be so critical. And it's hard to know when something's a real problem or just one of her overblown crises."