Will He Cheat On Me?
You've Just Had a Baby
Sex may lead to babies, but not vice versa. It's hard for a new mom to get psyched for passion after she's been walking the floor all night with a colicky infant, and her plummeting post-baby hormone levels only add to her waning libido. She also may be so focused on her new responsibilities that it's hard for her to give as much time to her spouse as she used to. "A new father loses his position as number one with his wife," says Glass. "She's bonding with the baby, and he may feel shut out."
Peggy, 39, says her husband turned to another woman 11 years ago, not long after their child was born. "He wanted to keep our baby out of day care, so he suggested that we take different shifts at the institution for disabled children where we both work," she says. "We had only one day off together each week. I think he got lonely being home with the baby every night. Eventually, a fellow teacher started giving him rides home from school, cooking for him and spending evenings with him." Peggy and her husband were eventually able to patch up their marriage, thanks to their strong mutual religious faith.
Sometimes, having a baby can make a man act like a little boy himself. "Men are concerned about their autonomy," says Glass. "Some are reluctant to assume the responsibilities that go along with having children, so they have an affair with a single woman to prove that they're not tied down, that no one can tell them what to do."
"After our twins were born last year, my husband became overwhelmed by the fact that he was now the sole breadwinner," says Shelly, 27, who's still married. "I think it made his co-worker look appealing to him. Her bills weren't his responsibility. She had no obligations and placed none on him. She was a good time just waiting to happen."