10 Ways to Be a Great Date

Great Dates

When it comes to dating, most of us worry about the wrong things: "Will he laugh at my jokes? Be impressed by my job? Notice that my bangs are doing that weird flip?" The result: our attempt to make a good impression frequently backfires. After all, who wants to be around such a wreck? Fortunately Lynn Harris, author of Breakup Girl to the Rescue! A Superhero's Guide to Love and Lack Thereof (Back Bay, 2000), says that anyone can become a champion dater: it just takes a simple attitude shift. "Being good at dating isn't about impressing men," says Harris. "It's about coming up with ways to make it more enjoyable for you. If you're having a good time, then you'll be a good date."

1. Do something that you'd enjoy -- with or without your dream date. If there's a movie that you've been dying to see, a new restaurant that you're curious to try, or a museum exhibit that you want to check out, a date is a great excuse to get yourself there. "If you do something you've always wanted to do anyway, then you can't lose. And it will make you a better date because you're having fun," says Harris.

2. Engage your body, as well as your mind. If the thought of coming up with several hours of conversation with a new man gives you hives, suggest a sporty activity like bowling, pool, or even just going for a walk. If you're shooting darts or playing a video game, you won't feel the pressure to keep up a nonstop conversation. Plus, you'll have some natural opportunities to flirt -- with good-natured competition and gentle teasing, for example. But, says Harris, "Don't pick anything that puts you on the spot or challenges you. Don't make it the first time you go bungee-jumping."