Insider Tips for Women

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6 More Things Men Want Women to Know

7. Unusual spots for sex turn us on. Men like to get out of the bedroom. They'd like you to offer up your bathroom, your kitchen, and other unusual spots for a special afternoon of love-making. "There's nothing like sex in the afternoon," says Berkley (especially, he says only half-jokingly, if you'll let him indulge in watching a TV sporting event later). And when it comes to fantasies, they're happy to play along with yours, and they love for you to indulge theirs. Another guy request: They want to talk to you about sex, openly and candidly.

8. We want to be validated all the time. It may sound like psycho-jargon, but men like to talk about their feelings, and they like when you echo those feelings back to them so they feel understood. Guys also love to talk about work, interactions with colleagues -- and sports. Give them their rants. And if they are creative, or concocting an idea a minute for work, they want to lay out their ideas for you to applaud. So applaud! "There's nothing that turns me on more than a girl who asks me to explain the logistics of football calls," says Berkley. "It can be a great bonding moment."

9. We need you to encourage us to take risks, and support us if we fail. If your man has a chance for a promotion at work, he wants your encouragement and support. Build up his confidence by listing all the reasons he should try for the promotion. Also, guys don't want you to change their bad habits; they say they're well-aware of the things they're not so good at. But you can gently offer suggestions for coping or altering annoying habits. "Great is the gal who helps me make fun of my foibles," says Berkley.

10. We can have platonic friendships with females. Don't assume we've got something to hide if we want an hour to play racquetball or four hours to play golf, guys say. Female friends are also a necessary ingredient in many men's social routines -- and work connections make it likely that some of a guy's close friends may be women. If you're concerned that a friendship is turning romantic, talk to him candidly about your worries -- but don't presume foul play.

11. We like women who are assertive, but not aggressive. If you want to try something out in bed, guys are almost always game. Assertiveness is also welcome when planning a weekend getaway, a vacation or even a night out. Let your guy know what you like in a soft-spoken, caring way. Others prefer subtle assertiveness. "Manipulate us in a feminine way," says Berkley, "but don't let us know we're being manipulated." That means don't try stuff that's too strange too soon in a relationship; talk and communicate.

12. We're not as different from you as you think. Books that tout the differences between the sexes may be hot on the best-seller lists, but guys yearn for the same emotional connections that women do -- they just express those needs differently. "Guys who tell you they don't need to be close and bond -- with women or with each other -- are lying," says Berkley. To keep the bond strong, ask your guy often what you can do to make him feel more loved. He'll love you back even stronger.


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