7 Kinds of Sex Every Couple Needs

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Never Be Too Busy to Get Busy

4. Be the aggressor, sometimes

It isn't 1955 anymore, ladies. We don't wait for boys to call us, and we don't "lie back and do it for our country." Many men in long-term relationships complain that their partners always wait for them to make the first move, because it's a traditional male role. Not anymore. Women repair drywall, install doorknobs, and paint the house. While we know how to do these things, it's still possible to behave like a lady and also make your man feel desirable and sexy by making the first move. Make it fun by binding his hands or blindfolding him and making him figure out how to remove your clothes. As well as evoking laughter, this little test will show you just how ingenious your man can be. Besides breaking from tired old standard first-move habits, according to Dr. Berman, the exercise will act as an "automatic foreplay extender." He'll think you're his playful little "minx" and feel irresistible too. Just make sure that approach is always a two-way street.

5. Work that body together

Yes, it sounds insane, but working out together can be a real turn on. And not just because of the skimpy attire. According to Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington, in Seattle, teaming up with a significant other while exercising actually raises a woman's dopamine (the desire hormone) levels and calms anxiety, leaving her feeling frisky even if she's tired and sweaty. Schwartz says to think of it as fat-burning foreplay, which beats a boring hour alone on the treadmill any day. And here's another bonus for your man: His post-workout sweat contains androstadienone, a testosterone derivative that elevates female arousal when she gets a whiff of it. So if you've been slacking off in your fitness routine, there's a much more entertaining way to burn calories than adding another mile to your run.

6. PDA: Not taboo anymore

You love your man. Now show him. In public. What used to be fodder for mockery is now commonplace, and can be very stimulating for you both without being graphic or obscene. Sure, hand-holding is always good -- you want to stay connected, but a gentle rub on the back of the neck or discreet hand on the knee under the table isn't going to ruffle any feathers. You know what your man likes, so if it's a quick tug on his earlobe in the car, go for it. Follow it up with a wink and a mischievous grin and rest assure he'll have some follow-up ideas when you get home.

7. Make-up sex

We've all heard men exclaim on the big screen: "make-up sex is the best of all." Big talk aside, it's actually pretty difficult to get in the mood when all you can think about is sticking a fork in his eye. Seriously, it is possible to take all of the passion that creates anger and re-channel it into sexual energy. After all, when war is being waged your body is responding by producing copious amounts of adrenaline and dopamine, which are both perfect ingredients for exceptional lovemaking. Next time you and your partner are engaging in battle, remember that the war is best won in bed, or on the floor, by having madly passionate make-up sex that promises to sustain intimacy when you inevitably hit those rough patches.

Originally published on LHJ.com, June 2009.

 

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