Are You Boring in Bed?
Do You Have To?
Of course, this all might seem too intimidating -- maybe you just want to keep things as they are, without asking questions, and without making waves. "So what if I'm boring in bed?" you might say. "There's more to life than sex." Sure there is. And if you and your guy are happy, then that's what matters. You might both prefer to have sex once a month, and if your desires coincide, then you're lucky. The danger lies when one partner's not getting what he or she wants; that might be okay for now, but problems may rear their ugly heads down the road. The most important thing is, don't let your ego stand in the way of admitting you're not quite pleased with your sex life. "We expect hot sex to come too easily," say sex authors Em & Lo. "We'll invest time and money in working out at the gym, or talking about emotional problems -- but when it comes to sex, we feel like we have to throw it away if it's not perfect. That's a habit you've got to break." Chicago-based sex coach Isham agrees. "We expect too much of the sexual experience," she says. "We live in a sex-obsessed culture -- but a loving relationship and hot sex go hand-in-hand, and it's not loving to beat up the relationship because all the elements aren't there." In the end, if it's broke, you've got to fix it. But if you approach the situation with humor, optimism, and enthusiasm, you're bound to have fun on the journey from dreary dame to sexy adventuress -- and that's a guarantee!