Find Your Spark
Fun Ways to Flirt
Once a couple ties the knot, they often stop the teasing and toying. It turns out that the flirtations your mother used -- batting eyelashes, ego-stroking compliments -- really work. Plus, for women, flirting can cause the body to produce oxytocin, a feel-good hormone.
- See eye-to-eye. Next time you're deep in conversation, make eye contact with him for about four seconds, then look down for a moment. Look at him again for two or three seconds and smile. A study in London showed that this move is part of our human mating ritual.
- Hold his hand. There are 40,000 sensitive nerve endings located there. A few soft strokes, going up his wrist and circling his palms, will start to heat things up, says Lou Paget, author of How to Be a Great Lover (Broadway, 2000).
- Pay attention. After years of being together, sometimes couples only half listen to each other. Next time you're alone, really listen. "One of the most powerful aphrodisiacs is your undivided attention," explains Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating (Macmillan, 1999).
- Compliment him. It may sound easy, but surprisingly, most guys don't get enough praise, especially outside of the office, explains William Crane, author of The Art of Kissing (St. Martins Press, 1995). If he's happier, he'll be more into you.
- Let him peek. "Men are extremely visual," says Shmule Boteach, author of Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments (Doubleday, 2000). "Nothing turns us on more than the sight of the women we love." When you get home, change from your work clothes to at-home casuals in a spot where he can catch a glimpse. Most women, in turn, love the idea that just a glimpse can cause a big reaction.
- Turn on the oven. Men get aroused by the smells of cinnamon buns, vanilla, and pumpkin pie, according to studies conducted by Hirsch. There's no need to slave over the stove -- a frozen or pre-made goodie works just as well.