The Secret to Soulful Sex: Spiritually Fulfilling Sex
The Spiritual Component of Intimacy
If you watch a lot of TV you might have the impression that the best sex is found outside marriage. Yet research reveals the pleasures of married sex are far better than those experienced during premarital sex or sex outside marriage. Would it surprise you to know that research suggests married women have more orgasms than unmarried women?
When you consider that sex was invented by God and not Hugh Hefner, the findings of these surveys not only reflect reality but also the biblical teaching that sex was designed for our enjoyment within marriage. In other words, God isn't embarrassed by sex or ashamed of it, and when we engage in it within marriage, He's pleased.
For some of you, this article may be difficult to read. There are few issues in life that can create more hurt, disappointment, frustration, and bitterness than sex. You may have been sexually abused in the past and have trouble believing you can ever trust again. You may have been sexually active long before your marriage. You may be in a marriage that lacks any intimacy -- emotionally or sexually. You may be divorced and struggling with your natural desires.
The Bible teaches: Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it. We may receive it gladly, with thankful hearts. This includes your sexuality. God created you as a sexual being; it's part of who you are and you can accept it without guilt. Physical intimacy between husband and wife is a sacred activity with profound spiritual implications.
God created sex as a physical expression of the spiritual and emotional ties between a man and a woman, where the "two shall become one." You hear and read a lot about soul mates, but very little about the soul ties created by sex between a man and a woman. It's a mystery to understand, yet God designed sex to create a spiritual oneness between a wife and her husband.
If you view sex as nothing more than a physical event, you're missing its full meaning and missing out on the satisfaction and enjoyment God planned for you. Surveys have found a correlation between the intensity of a woman's spiritual convictions and her satisfaction with sexual pleasures in marriage. The gospel truth is that there's a connection between sexuality and spirituality, and that's why God reserved sex for marriage.
Truth be told, God put a sex manual right into the pages of the Bible, in the form of a love poem called "The Song of Solomon," which shows the relationship between a man and a woman from their courtship to their wedding night. That's why it's amazing to me that the church is generally known for being against sex: The Bible couldn't get a G rating on the subject! "The Song of Solomon" is a how-to on reaching marital maturity and deep physical intimacy by paying attention to such details as privacy, unhurried time, complimenting each other, affectionate touching, having special places together, fragrances, intimate talk, and the safety of total commitment. This affection creates the atmosphere of intimacy; sex is just the event.